Pros and Cons of Manchester Exits from Champions League

Pros: Hilarity. Proof that Money doesn't buy you everything (yet).

Negatives: Two-horse race for the title made even more two-horse racier. Increases already high odds that Citeh can go unbeaten for the season.

Thoughts?

Is Nani insane?

Not only does he have the slightly glassy stare of a potential headcase, he continues to do the gymnastic displays when he scores, despite the even madder, red-faced, Glaswegian one repeatedly telling him not to.

Someone should show poor old Nani the photos of Beckham's face after he raised Fergie ire. Maybe the double-pike would be off the menu then.

As for the goal: a cracker obviously. But one added by a conspicuous deflection off the incredible hulk, which sent it sailing past Robinson's hands faster than you can say 'it's a joke you're England's number one'.

Also, Nani had been trying to score that exact goal for the last four games, so he was bound to do it eventually. But then Kolo Toure has been trying to score the same long distance free-kick for at least the last three seasons. One day he'll do it and it will be the greatest goal scored ever.

Kasper Schemichel really isn't that good. Yet.

So, ok, he may become a great keeper in the future. That, at least, can't be disputed. Whether any acorn grows into an oak is a matter of speculation, but you have to have something to you to be considered an acorn in the first place.

Anyway, Kasper may look like the friendly ghost, but the praise being heaped on him by, ostensibly, all-comers is verging on the ridiculous.

Every time a cross came in he flapped at it; he punched and parried anything of any note. Arsenal, were they not engaged in their, unique, pass-a-thon efforts would have scored far more had they decided to pepper the young Dane's goal.

As for the penalty 'save': firstly, he was about five metres off his line when the penalty was taken. This was flagged by the linesman, yet ignored by the referee, just as he had ignored the original, stonewall, penalty decision. Secondly, it was a rubbish pen. van persie hit it straight down old Kasper's throat; it was not a patch on his father's save from Bergkamp.

So, like an investment banker, I'm hedging my bets. Kasper may come good, but at the moment he's actually a bit rubbish. A classic case of praise by association, as it were.

Smith and Owen to play for England up-front.

Without wanting to sound overly negative, would this be the same Alan Smith who's so dismal in front of goal that not one, but two managers have tried to convert him into a 'tough-tackling' central midfielder?

And would this be the same Michael Owen who was rushed back from injury to the England side so successfully before? Who's barely played over the last two seasons? Who's legs, and I've seen scientific evidence for this, are actually made out of a paper-balsa wood composite?

Good to see Stevie to the Mc Claren is going to use a friendly to try out some new blood.

Oh.

Still, anything involving Jens Lehmann is worth watching; remember that.

Rafa Benitez loses his grip on transfer reality, again.

So Rafa's at it again. The grass is always greener on the other club's transfer policy, isn't it Rafa?

According to dear old Rafa - or should that be David Brent since the growing of his 'I'm not going through a mid-life crisis, honest' goatee - Florent Malouda chose Chelsea over Liverpool due to 'greed'. Chelsea could offer him more money, and a glamorous west London lifestyle; the Pool could offer him, er, a bag of chips and the river Mersey.

You have to wonder whether even Rafa really believes this. Surely the main reason Malouda went to Chelsea over Liverpool is because he believed Chelsea were more capable of winning trophies, even after the two Champions League semi-finals defeats to the Pool.

Benitez seems to have a strange grasp of reality when it comes to transfers. He's the man who always wants more money, always claiming other clubs have more and Liverpool are being left behind.

I'm sure many of you remember these farcical statements after the Pool's 6-3 drubbing to the Arse last season:

We had seven players with first-team experience and could not win. There is a lesson there for the whole of our club. If you want to compete at the top level, you must be able to spend a lot of money not only on your first team, but on the young players and reserves. Arsenal spent [pound]4m on [Abou] Diaby, [pound]4m on Denilson, [pound]8m on [Theo] Walcott and [Julio] Baptista is a [pound]22m player.

So apparently, Arsenal have had more money to spend, or have literally spent more money, in the years since Benitez became Pool manager. Hmm. Don't think so Rafa, especially the bit about Baptista being a £22 million player. We all get carried away though, I know.

So, no Rafa. You have spent big, you have attracted players to the club, and you have been able to handsomely remunerate them. The fundamental problem has been that a fair few of the lumieres you've signed have been, well, a bit rubbish. Signing Craig 'I don't have a personality disorder, honest' Bellamy for a fairly wide chunk of cash, following this up with Jermaine 'tag-boy' Pennant, and having the devastating vision to not only snap up Bolo Zenden, but to start him on the wing in the Champions League final are merely a few of the more obvious cases in point.

So grow up Rafa. I know its all mind games with the moaner in chief, but sometimes players don't want to sign for clubs for reasons other than money.

England v Germany: to recall or not to recall?

Considering next Wednesday's match against Germany is a friendly, you might have expected Steve McClaren to be a bit more adventurous.

But in the wake of Becks's ostensibly 'triumphant' return against the titans of Estonia, old Steve has played it safe and gone for experience above everything.

So we have a squad with Becks in it, despite questions remaining over his fitness and, well, the level of competition he's currently facing, and we also have Messrs Campbell and James return to the squad.

This is the David James who, lest we forget, stated that 'he hadn't prepared properly' for the 4-1 drubbing England received in Denmark. This is the Sol Campbell who ran off to Belgium after a nightmare first half against West Ham.

All three, in the last season, have performed very impressively: Beckham had a triumphant last season at Madrid, while James and Campbell have enjoyed a semi-renaissance in the Arsenal retirement home that is Fratton Park.

But how long can they be relied upon? Until next summer? Even that? Shouldn't a friendly be a time to induct new blood into the team? The only vaguely new face in the squad is Steven 'I can make a handball look like an injury' Taylor.

In relying on experienced, 'proven' players - regardless of the current age and fitness - over the next generation of English players, is Steve making the same mistakes as Sven?

Relegation predictions.

Right, well, let's get the ball rolling, so to speak.

My three teams to go down are:

Boro

Bolton

Derby.

Why? I hear no one but myself cry.

Boro: Aside from Woodgate, they have no players of real note left. Downing flatters to deceive on a massive, almost maniacal scale. With a striking partnership of Jeremie 'paper-legs' Aliadiere and the Egyptian goal-machine Mido soon to be starting, dark clouds lie ahead, I'm afraid. Southgate is way, way out of his depth.

Bolton: As is Sammy Lee. So far, his attempts to end the anti-football of Allardyce's reign have back-fired; they will continue to do so. Nolan has been found out, and Anelka is their only player of real substance. He's hardly the player you want to carry a team to safety.

Derby: one of the promoted three will go down, and it'll be Derby, who don't look anywhere near good enough. Bottom of the league, I'm afraid.

Fulham will also be in the mix, as will Birmingham. Despite resting at the bottom of the table at present, expect Spurs to push their way out of the mire, even if those top four predictions already look a little silly. Top four? With Jenas powering your midfield? I think not.